This was just another Sunday morning. Husband had gone out for a tournament and I was home alone with my soon-to-be-three-years-old baby girl.
She is at an age where she doesn’t ONLY need to be fed, clothed and burped and bathed, like how it was when she was a baby. The needs have evolved—she needs to be entertained, she needs to be engaged, she needs to be disciplined; in short, she needs to be ‘parented’. Or so I thought.
And therefore, while cooking breakfast I was listening to Sadhguru’s video on parenting on Youtube. I felt instantly enlightened by his thoughts and seem to agree with him.
Sadhguru said that children don’t belong to you, they come through you. They are not your property, nor your old-age insurance. The only qualification you have is that you came a few years earlier than them. You can’t claim that you are better than them at anything. Be it IQ, EQ or what have you. So stop parenting them, parent yourself instead. [Paraphrased].
That seeded the idea in my mind, something that I would like to remember for a long time. I need to be loving, caring, kind and reasonable to my daughter and parenting will automatically happen. I need to be a better person for her and she will learn from what she sees at home.
So it happened that the maid was on leave today so I thought to clean the house myself.Subconsciously, I was also putting his theory on test. Now, I have been training my daughter to pick up toys after she is done playing with them, to keep things that she uses in its place after she is done, with mixed results so far. Sometimes she follows through half-heartedly, at other times, she turns a deaf ear.
Today, I didn’t tell her anything. I went about dusting the furniture, and was brooming the entire home. I looked at my daughter askance and saw her picking her toys. I didn’t pay much attention. It’s usual for her to pick a few today, arrange them before it all comes down crashing with a wave of her tiny hands. But when I came back after mopping the other rooms, her toys were off the floor, her desk was clean and she had a handkerchief in her hand, gleefully saying, “Mumma, maine bhi apne loom chaap kal dia”.
I have learnt my lesson. I won’t force her to be tidy. Or to keep her surrounding clean. Instead, I will be tidy. I will keep my surroundings clean.
Here’s the link of the video, if you want to watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXqjmIIhIrY